When many boys are chasing girls, they often don’t know how to chat with girls or are even afraid of chatting with girls. When chatting with girls they like, they are prone to the following situations:
1. Feeling that their emotions are complete Follow the other person;
2. There is no rhythm in chatting, and girls can basically stop at any time;
3. The other party cannot get what you are saying, and sometimes you need to explain awkwardly;
4. I always want to "snatch" the other person during chatting, but the girl I like doesn't like me;
5. I hope the girl I like will care about me and reveal my neediness/weakness/begging. Comfort;
6. Not confident, always thinking about pleasing girls.
……
So how can we break through these awkward chat bottlenecks and have a lively chat with the girl we like?
1. Use girls’ thinking to guide chatting behavior
Please always remember the most significant characteristic of girls: they are feeling-oriented animals.
In the world of girls, they don’t care so much about the logic of words when chatting. What they value more is feelings, including the atmosphere during chatting, and actions including chatting behaviors, which can serve them well. The feeling provided.
1. Atmosphere Creation
Let alone girls, just take you as an example. If a girl takes the initiative to chat with you, she will only ask dryly: "What are you doing?" What? Did you go out to play today? Have you eaten? "Aren't you bored???
So when chatting with the girl you like, you must learn to create an atmosphere of chatting. Among them, there are two points I want to emphasize:
(1) "Sense of humor"
In creating an atmosphere, "humor" is the easiest thing for us to grasp.
I won’t introduce too many old jokes here. Almost a casual search on Zhihu will flood them with them. In terms of techniques, let me talk about one that is easy for me to use personally: deliberately misinterpret their meaning in a measured way.
Just like if a girl asks you: Have you eaten?
Even if you know that the other party is just a simple greeting, you can deliberately misinterpret her original intention and reply: " No way, no way, no one wants to treat me to dinner, right?"
The first reaction of the other party when they saw it was that they would definitely laugh.
This kind of reply not only solves the boring atmosphere, but also is likely to pass the rhythm of push and pull. (If the other party replies: "No," you just say, "If it doesn't work, I'll ask you." It’s okay”) and successfully asked the other party out.
Most of the time, it’s not that you don’t have many chat topics, it’s just that you don’t know how to make good use of them.
(2) "Ambiguousness"
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I have told everyone before that the relationship between men and women is inseparable from sexual attraction. This is true for boys, and it is the same for girls.
For example, when a girl mentions: "Oh, you don't understand me"
You can reply: "Hmm? Do you understand? From top to bottom or from inside to outside?" By the way, you can also say: "I suspect that I was driving, but you have no proof."
Appropriate "opening of meat" is definitely a good way to quickly close the ambiguous atmosphere between two people.
2. Understand the needs of girls during chat
If you want to create a good chat atmosphere, it is essential to clearly explore the needs of girls.
You must understand what the other person is talking about when they are chatting with you: understand your own positioning in the other person’s heart, and also understand what the other person is expressing when they are chatting with you.
In tennis matches, there is an instant replay device called the "Eagle Eye System". This system can help overcome the limits and blind spots of human observation capabilities and help referees make accurate and fair judgments. Switch to chat, or you can borrow it.
That is: to magnify and perceive women’s precise needs when chatting with the most accurate, efficient and sensitive level. Only in this way can we get the best feedback in this process of chasing and satisfying others. For example:
Female: Wow, I actually have to work overtime today. (Is she really just expressing the objective fact of working overtime? What’s the difference between working overtime and getting off work in normal times? - It’s late! It’s not safe! I need someone to accompany me!)
Male: Tell me after get off work Say, I'll pick you up. (Understand the needs of the girl you like and satisfy her)
Girl: No need. (She is just being polite!!! It’s not really necessary)
Male: It’s so unsafe for a girl to go out at night, I would be worried. Besides, I will definitely be very hungry after working overtime. Wouldn’t it be nice to take you to have some midnight snacks then? (Not only does it express my concern and meet the girl’s needs for safety and companionship, but it also satisfies her desire for food. You are simply awesome. Just a perfect man, okay?)
Female: Okay~ I’ll tell you about it then. (When the hand is ready, retreat with gold!)
3. Take action while chatting
For boys, they may forget some words once they have been said, and they are not so sensitive and sensitive to those small details. care. But this is not the case for girls! Details are often the most affecting their emotions.
Some boys only talk about love and talk nonsense all day long. Today they mentioned the amusement park and said they would take her there next time, and tomorrow they mentioned the Japanese restaurant and said they would take her to eat the day after tomorrow. As a result, he turned around and threw it away after saying that, thus living up to the other party's expectations.
Talk more but also do more! She is not blind! She is not stupid! She is not demented and forgets things!
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2. Never let awkward conversations happen
(1) Changing the topic when awkward and cold scenes
Teach you a way to avoid having nothing to talk about in 99% of cases. Well, that is: keyword continuation chat method.
When you want to chat but don’t know how to answer the conversation, you can try to catch a certain keyword mentioned/expressed in the other party’s reply (or even an emoticon), and then use this to Keywords develop divergence or association. The object of association can be her, yourself, or a common friend.
In this way, you can almost continue your chat with the other person. For example:
Female: "I feel so tired after going to work today." (The key words are, go to work, so tired)
Male: "I didn't go to work today, but I'm still very tired." "(Grab the key words and start a conversation around yourself. It's better to create some small conflicts and contradictions to make her curious.)
There are suddenly more topics that can be replied to by girls you like, such as: "Why? Don’t go to work?”; “Why are you still tired if you don’t go to work?” “What did you do?”…and so on.
It is easy for the conversation to unfold in a hierarchical and rhythmic manner, making it a logical process.
(2) Never talk awkwardly if you really can’t continue the conversation
Promise me, when you find that the topic cannot go on, please find an excuse and leave quickly, and you won’t have to say another word. May die.
Even if you use the keyword continuation chat method mentioned earlier, there will always be times when the topic is really not interesting, or the other party is not in the mood to talk and just wants to be alone for a while. time.
Suppose the girl you like has said: "I have something to do now and I will tell you later." But you insist on replying: “What are you busy with?”…………Brother, Good Luck, it’s hard to say whether she will talk to you later...!
Just reply with an emoticon and run away. The chat is originally done to add points, so force chat, Awkward chatting will only reduce your points, but nothing to gain!
3. Enjoy the process of chatting
When You are nervous when you speak, and your logic is confused and at a loss. Think about it, what are you thinking in your mind now? Most likely, it is:
Did I say something wrong?
p>Is what I said interesting?
Will she not want to reply to me?
Those are the things I think about. It would be a damn thing if I could have a good conversation.
It’s like a person doing a talk show. If he keeps thinking about whether the audience is listening and whether his baggage is heard when he speaks, instead of preparing his own content and jokes, he will only It’s just embarrassing.
Please keep this sentence in mind: Is chatting a way for you to socialize and chase girls?Wrong, but it is a process that both of you should enjoy and be happy about.
Of course you can focus on chatting skills and study and preparation in advance, but after you have done these, don’t worry too much and enjoy the chatting process. It will not only increase your confidence when chatting, but also make you more confident. The whole process is more natural.
Be more generous and natural, and girls will like you like this.
