Recently, I had a conversation with a few friends about the topic of love, and I found that everyone had a lot of confusion and worries. Men are always asking, "How can I find a girlfriend?" while women are concerned about "How to avoid pitfalls in a relationship." As someone who has been through it, I find this topic quite interesting, so today I want to share my thoughts with you.
Let's talk about men first. I have a friend named Ajie, who is actually quite well-off—he has a stable job and is not bad-looking, but he just can't find a girlfriend. He always says he's too much of a homebody, and besides his colleagues, he hardly meets anyone. Every time he attends a friend's wedding or a class reunion, he feels particularly lonely. In fact, there are quite a few men like Ajie; they do want to be in a relationship, but they just don't know where to start.
I think that for men who want to find a girlfriend, the first thing to understand is: What do women value most when looking for a boyfriend? Is it money? Is it looks? Actually, it"s neither. What women really want is a confident, interesting man who knows how to respect her. Confidence is really important; you don't have to be the most handsome, but you must be confident. As some netizens have said, "Women like someone who can take care of themselves and others, not a homebody who is always feeling sorry for himself."
Secondly, a sense of humor is also crucial. Women like men who can make them laugh, but be careful—humor is not about self-deprecation or belittling yourself, but about expressing your attitude in a relaxed way. For example, you can joke about small things in life, but don't make it seem like you're deliberately trying to please her.
Another important point is to socialize more. Many men always complain that their social circle is too small and they don't meet women, but in fact, opportunities are created by themselves. You can go to the gym, a café, or even a supermarket, and chat with strangers. As some netizens have said, "The worst outcome of striking up a conversation is rejection, but at least you tried, which is better than staying at home all the time."
Now, let's talk about women. The most common mistake women make in relationships is being "love-struck," treating their boyfriend as the center of their life. I have a classmate who lived with her boyfriend for four years, doing all the laundry, cooking, and even washing his feet, but in the end, he still broke up with her. She asked me, "I treated him so well, why did he still leave me?" The answer is simple: Love is equal, not a one-sided effort.
Women must remember in a relationship to love themselves while loving others. Don"t give up your career and life just to please the other person. As some netizens have said, "A man doesn't need a servant, but a partner who can walk side by side with him." If you lower yourself too much, the other person will look down on you instead.
Additionally, women must learn to protect themselves in a relationship. Nowadays, premarital cohabitation is very common, but I suggest that women should not cohabit too early, at least not until you know each other well enough. Even if you do cohabit, pay attention to protecting your body and don't put yourself in a passive position. As some netizens have said, "If a man really loves you, he won't let you get hurt over and over again."
In summary, whether you're a man or a woman, the most important thing in a relationship is to maintain your sense of self and not lose your bottom line just to please the other person. Love is a two-person affair; only when both parties contribute can the relationship go further. I hope my sharing can be helpful to everyone, and I wish everyone can find their own happiness!