Recently, while chatting with my close friends, I discovered a common concern among us: getting tired as the relationship progresses. Some of my friends mentioned that their boyfriends often fail to understand their emotions; others said that despite loving each other deeply, they frequently argue; and some felt that they were giving too much in the relationship without receiving adequate returns. Listening to their stories reminded me of my own past experiences in relationships, where I too had stumbled into many pitfalls.
I remember one time when I was working late and told my then-boyfriend, "I'm so tired," to which he simply replied, "Get some rest early." I was furious at the time, feeling that he didn't care about me at all. Reflecting on it now, I realize that sometimes men are just straightforward; they might genuinely think you just need rest. Later, I learned to express my needs more directly: "I've been working overtime today and I'm really tired, can you come pick me up?" This way, I not only communicated my needs but also gave him a chance to show his care.
Speaking of expressing needs, I"ve noticed that many women make the mistake of expecting their partners to read their minds. But the reality is, men are not mind-readers! Take my friend Xiaomei, for example. Her boyfriend forgot her birthday, and she was so upset that she ignored him for three days, leaving him completely baffled. Wouldn't it have been better to just say, "Today is my birthday, and I'm really hurt that you forgot"?
Another crucial point is not to lose yourself in a relationship. I've seen too many women who pour all their energy into their partners once they start dating, only to end up getting hurt. Remember, love should be the icing on the cake, not the cake itself. Maintain your hobbies and social circles; this way, even if issues arise in your relationship, you won't feel like your world is falling apart.
When it comes to relationship issues, I've noticed that many women fall into the "sunk cost" fallacy. Like my cousin, who knew her boyfriend wasn't right for her but couldn't bear to break up after three years together. In reality, it's crucial to cut losses timely. Rather than exhausting yourself in an unsuitable relationship, it's better to bravely let go and give the right person a chance.
Lastly, I want to emphasize that dating really requires learning. Don't think that having been in a few relationships makes you "impure." On the contrary, appropriate dating experiences can help you understand what you truly want. Like my current boyfriend, with whom I get along very comfortably, all thanks to those "failed" past relationships that taught me how to better manage a relationship.
Remember, good love is about mutual growth, not mutual depletion. I hope every woman can find someone who allows her to be her truest self. If you also have confusions in your relationship, feel free to share in the comments, and let"s discuss together!