It is very important to chase girls with emotional intelligence. Boys with high emotional intelligence can win the favor of girls even when chatting. So how do you become a person with high emotional intelligence? Before telling you the skills, let me share a story with you.
Something like this happened before Xiao Liu broke up with his girlfriend:
His girlfriend worked overtime, So he still didn't come back after ten o'clock in the evening. He called anxiously to inquire, but found that no one answered. Xiao Liu's mood rose. After all the negative emotions such as anger, worry and regret came up, he became furious.
After 10 minutes, his girlfriend called back. The moment he picked up the phone, before she could say anything, she was scolded: "Why didn't you answer the phone?! Where have you been? Working overtime?" What do you want to do if you don't answer the phone so late?"
Before his anger was completely vented, the other party had hung up the phone and did not come back that day. At first, he was very angry and thought, "Obviously it is. You did something wrong, and you still hung up the phone?" But it didn't take long for Xiao Liu's persistence to turn into worry, because she never paid attention to him again.
Obviously, Xiao Liu cares about his girlfriend and loves her very much. I understand the worry and fear you feel when you can’t contact your girlfriend, but Xiao Liu’s worry and fear are not affected by the girl. Her friend understood, but it became a "sharp blade" that hurt her.
Obviously, compared to worry and fear, it is more important for Xiao Liu to express his relationship and love for his girlfriend at this moment.
Too many quarrels and conflicts in relationships develop from such trivial matters until they fail to get together in the end.
Therefore, if we want to become a man with high emotional intelligence, we must first change from chatting.
1. Many times "true temperament" is synonymous with low emotional intelligence
True temperament, in Baidu Encyclopedia The above refers to the emphasis on personality and inner spiritual value on the one hand, and the underestimation of external utilitarianism on the other.
You see, this is completely different from what we usually mean by "true temperament". What we mean by "true temperament" is that this person doesn't care much about other people's feelings and just says whatever comes to his mind. Unable to empathize. And this definition is also a manifestation of "low emotional intelligence".
When encountering conflicts, they only use swear words to express their emotions. Brothers with low emotional intelligence do not have the words "sad" and "sad" in their brains.
When you meet a girl you like, you will only express your love with the behavior of "kneeling and licking". You don't know how to express your love in a more advanced way.
Let’s compare the emotions expressed in the following two sentences:
“? (question mark at the beginning) You didn’t reply to my WeChat message yesterday, ×!”
"You seem to have forgotten to reply to my WeChat message yesterday, and my husband is not happy."
Brothers who say they don’t know how to chat with girls often ignore a very simple truth - if your words become If you have warmth and affection, then the other person will definitely respond to you with warmth and affection.
2. When emotions no longer flow, the distance will no longer be close
If you and the other party If they are all "fully armed", they will definitely not be able to communicate from heart to heart, and the distance between the two will definitely not be close.
The motivation for communication will be lost all the time.
Once the communication enters a reverse cycle, the other party will also choose to stop the loss in time, and then you and she are destined not to walk on the same road.
Then, what you have to do is to take care of the other person's emotions first, then express your own emotions, and finally tell the facts and reason.
For example: "I know you are very anxious now, and I am also a little anxious. Do you think this is okay? Let's do this first...and then that..."
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Then you express your motivation, "I am also a little anxious." After the other party knows your emotional starting point, will he still not understand? Of course not, and in the end, you will come up with a solution.
In this way, the energy between you and the other party is flowing, and a positive cycle can be achieved, and others will be more willing to communicate with you.
Society never requires people to shut up, but rather allows people to choose to express themselves in a gentle way. The so-called emotional intelligence masters just "heat up" cold words and turn them into "love words".
