When many boys are chatting with girls they like, they may be nervous and always end up cold after chatting for a few words. What should they do in this situation? Here are 3 tips to avoid cold chats.
1. Provide value to her
For example, if you ask a girl what she is doing, she will say Very bored, playing games.
OK, now comes the question. Since a girl is bored, what she needs most right now is definitely not to be bored. We can change her current state. This is to ensure that she can have a common language with you. conditions.
If you honestly say to her: "I'm bored too", or ask her "What games do you play?", for these two questions, for a girl, you have not made any changes to her current status. , she still has to continue playing the game, so she definitely doesn’t have anything to talk to you about, and just chats to death, which will inevitably be followed by a quiet period.
The correct approach at this time is to give her value, such as: "Come out and buy you a smoothie", or tell her some interesting things to break her current boring state and give her a reason Don't play games so that girls will have something to say to you.
We often need to use this idea when chatting with girls. Don’t ask for value from her all the time. Especially when girls describe some low-value states (such as boredom) to you, don’t say things that have nothing to do with the current state. Topics, because these will make her have no motivation and no condition to actively respond to you. She will only respond to you negatively.
Still taking the above example, a girl says she is bored and playing games. If you ask her what game she is playing, this is a question that has nothing to do with her current state (boredom). She will tell you whether she is playing games or not. Games don't affect the current situation of having to continue playing games to kill boredom. Therefore, girls often continue to play their games and then respond to you with a few words in a perfunctory manner. There is no way to talk.
Only provide her with value and give her a good reason to put down what she is doing and respond to you.
2. Master the rhythm
When chatting, no matter how many topics we prepare, we will always encounter topics that are too complex The less you use it, or even when it is exhausted, and then the more you talk, the less you can talk together, and there is a cold moment. This is often because you have problems with your rhythm.
The so-called rhythm means that you need to decide how to chat based on the girl's current mood and reaction, whether to continue the current topic, brake in time, or when it is time to change the topic.
If you don’t know how to tell whether a girl is willing to chat in her current state, whether she is interested in your current topic, or what a girl is most interested in and what she is not interested in, you will It’s hard to control the pace.
Then thisHow to distinguish between these? Observe her words!
If it is in person, her expression will directly tell you her situation. If it is an online chat, then her current tone and tone towards you, combined with her usual behavior, will also tell you. I can get a rough idea.
For example, if you chat with her and she responds to you enthusiastically, but every subsequent sentence is simple and even a little irritable, then the girl may be in pain and cannot think calmly, so you cannot Keep pestering her to keep chatting;
If she starts chatting with you in full swing, but suddenly her attitude towards you drops sharply, then maybe the topic you are looking for just evokes her previous unpleasant experience, or you say no If it's time to say something, then it's best to change the topic and apologize to her tactfully.
If she has always been indifferent to you and is still not interested in sharing some interesting jokes or new things happening around you, it means that she does not have much interest in you, and this situation is not suitable. When you start an ambiguous chat with her, the best thing to do is to take a stand immediately after offering a high-value proposition.
3. Know how to guide and listen
If you don’t know how to find topics, you can often ask girls to provide them. topic, but girls are passive in many aspects, especially towards a boy who doesn’t understand you. In short, if you have nothing to attract her attention, then the girl will naturally not be interested in taking the initiative to chat with you.
So when you first get to know a girl, you don’t need to actively chat with her, but you must know how to guide her.
By looking for a girl’s interests and hobbies, bringing up topics that are attractive to her, and showing her humorous personality, and using these to guide a girl, you can inspire a girl who is not interested in you. A girl with a cold is interested in chatting with you.
Regarding how to understand a girl’s interests and hobbies, the most basic way is to observe her circle of friends.
Secondly, listening is also a very important guiding ability.
Some people may find it strange that listening seems to put us in a state of silence. Isn’t this a passive behavior, and guidance should be our initiative, right?
We take the initiative to give up. Bring out topics that interest her, so that girls can go from having nothing to say to wanting to talk. This knowledge goes from 0 to 1, from nothing to something. But how to keep control of the situation and let girls always have topics to talk to us is to rely on listening to lead the topic in real time and absorb more information.
Listening can lead the topic:
For example, if a girl tells you some stories, we as listeners cannot just listen with our ears. We need to ask a little question from time to time, such as " What happened next?” “Is it true?” “How is she?” “Isn’t this possible?” etc. You can guide the girl and let her be the leader of the topic, further explore her topic, and fully develop her topic.play value.
You can also learn information:
Listening allows us to have enough energy and time to think about what the other person is saying. Often a casual sentence a girl says reflects her character. , people, hobbies, problems you are facing, etc. This is the information we need to further develop the topic with the girl, and it is also the things we need to understand to understand her in depth. Only by mastering this information can we have a steady stream of topics with her.
In short, if we master the ability to guide and listen, we will have a better chance of winning and have more initiative in our interactions.
