No matter how good the relationship is, couples will quarrel sometimes. Some people will warm up their relationship because of their quarrels, while some people will make their relationship worse the more they quarrel. The reason is because they don’t know how to quarrel! Today the editor is here I will teach you how to solve the problem after a couple quarrels. Sit in the front row and let’s start the class.
I don’t know if you have this feeling, that no matter what you say, the other party can’t understand you, which makes you very confused. I am speechless, and then I don’t know what to do. In fact, there is an issue here that is easily ignored by everyone, and that is:
Many people feel that it is necessary to speak out as many of their thoughts as possible , then the other party will be more understanding. But in fact it is not that the more you speak, the more the other party will understand.
Sometimes if you don’t understand the language, the communication effect may be even worse. Sometimes you feel like the other person doesn't understand you, possibly when you don't express yourself effectively.
Many people may not be able to express their negative emotions. When they express their negative emotions, they will turn into nagging and complaining.
If the other party is unwilling to listen to your nagging, then the information he will hear will be very limited. The other party may be selectively deaf and turn a deaf ear to your words.
Everyone has a defensive mentality. It is usually difficult for someone to immediately accept that he is wrong. After that, he basically cannot listen to many words.
When two people are unhappy, how should they express it?
Some psychologists have investigated families. Internal conflict, discovering the need of family members for each other:
Basically two sentences: I hope you say thank you to me, and I hope you say sorry to me.
Therefore, when a quarrel occurs, instead of making a long speech, it is better to simply express, I need your thanks and I need your apology.
If the other party said something very hurtful.
I feel bad for you to say this, and I hope you can say sorry to me. If you say that to me next time, I will leave immediately.
Discomfort is how you feel, hope is what you expect the other person to do, and if it is the consequences of telling the other person to continue doing this.
Just say a few words about how you feel and what you can do to make yourself feel better. That’s it.
Exercise to express your feelings clearly within three sentences.
The conflicts between you and your family will be significantly reduced. Although this kind of expression is not easy, it is indeed a bit difficult to express your negative emotions so frankly. Effective expression is an act of continuous practice.
Many small family matters can be used for practice. If you can talk concisely and to the point when you are young, it will be easier to talk about other things in the future.
