Backstage fans left a message: Is it possible for couples not to quarrel? When I saw this question, I fell into deep thought. I think the reason why this friend raised this question was because he had experienced frequent quarrels.
In my opinion, there are very few couples who don’t quarrel. I can’t say that they don’t, but they are rare. There is another situation. If you are with someone you don't love, you won't quarrel frequently. I'm sure of this. After all, they don't love you, so why should they quarrel with you?
Returning to the subject, quarreling is actually a very serious matter. It is a normal thing and a necessary stage for entering into an intimate relationship, but it is not necessarily a bad thing!
The root cause of quarrels is the different ideas and concepts caused by the different experiences of both parties. Upgrade our "intimate relationship" and deepen our understanding of each other.
The four stages of intimate relationships:
1. Romance
At this stage, it often starts with mutual attraction. At this time, we are always interested in each other. The partner has high expectations. Both parties show their best sides to their partners, and feel full of energy when they are with each other, but we have not really considered whether our assumptions about our partners are completely true.
This stage usually lasts for 3 to 6 months. During this period, you will fully experience the "feeling of love."
2. Collision
When the passion gradually subsides and we feel more and more different from each other, we enter the second stage.
Often at this stage, we suddenly find that our partners are not as good as we imagined, so many people will start plans to transform their partners, which creates a lot of conflicts and contradictions.
The most true appearance of the other party is also presented in front of us at this time. To get through this period, we must pay attention to our own and the other person's needs and make a balance. If our own awareness is limited and cannot solve the problem, we can get help from others.
3. Stability
Once we understand and accept the differences between the two parties, we will no longer blame the other party. , or self-blame and regret. At this point we enter a stable period.
What needs to be abandoned most at this stage is our expectations for the other person. We need to honestly accept our partner’s personality. This usually requires tracing back to our family of origin and getting to know our partners and ourselves from the source.
My girlfriend and I will share our opinions, thoughts, feelings and experiences with each other from time to time. We understand the differences between our worlds and will not have any disputes.
This stage often lasts seven years (the so-called seven-year itch). However, many couples misunderstand the mode of getting along with each other as the third stage of marriage.
4. Symbiosis
Partners who can reach this period have a stable and enviable intimate relationship.
At this stage, you will be pleasantly surprised to find that the original romantic period reappears and the cycle begins again. At this time, you will no longer have too many demands on your partner, but you will see that the relationship between you is actually one, that the souls of both parties are in harmony, and most importantly - you will be full of true love for your partner.
So, if you still want to find a girlfriend who won’t quarrel with you, then you might as well look at the problem of quarrels correctly and find a correct way to deal with it. This is the best way to deal with it. method. Have you learned it?
