What is a good marriage? Some people think that no quarrels are a good marriage, but if it is to avoid conflicts, even basic communication is abandoned, turning two people under the same roof into two people. Related roommates, is this kind of marriage still a good thing?
A few days ago a fan left a message to me, talking about his grievances and helplessness in his marriage. He and his wife were talking about it during the day. Everyone is busy with their own business, but as soon as they get home, there is nothing to say, zero communication, no communication.
Sometimes, he would take his wife out for social gatherings. In front of outsiders, her wife was always full of energy, talking and laughing.
But when he got home and faced him, he lost all passion. He wouldn’t speak if he could. Sometimes, he couldn’t bear it anymore and would argue with his wife, but as soon as they quarreled, the other party would start. Cold violence.
What chilled him the most was that every time he came back from overtime work, the house would always be cold and his wife would never wait for him. She would cook and eat all by herself, although she would not let him wash the dishes. , but they won’t leave food for him, and the clothes are washed separately by the two of them. If he goes out for business, his wife would rather not wash his clothes than help him dry them.
These little things made him feel that this marriage was getting more and more frustrating, but no matter who he complained to, the people who listened would tell him.
You are too dissatisfied. What are these things? This is what happens after a long time between husband and wife, and the other party has not committed any principle issues. She is already good enough, so don’t worry about these trivial matters. Calculate.
1. Cold violence
Isn’t marriage made up of these trivial things?
If there is a lack of communication in a marriage about small things, can you still expect to be able to communicate when big things happen?
In fact, the purpose of two people being together is not to be happy. Are you living a good life? If everything is clearly divided, what is the difference between living alone?
In the movie "Wuwen Xidong":
His wife Shufen suffered from cold violence by her husband. It was a torture, and everything in the house was clearly separated.
Shufen said to her husband: "You make me feel that I am the worst person in the world."
Shufen was driven to despair by cold violence and finally chose to commit suicide by jumping into a well.
2. A good marriage always has something to say
There is no response to what you say, but what you want to do If there is no one to accompany you, one party's efforts will never be reciprocated. They say they are roommates, but they are actually worse than roommates.
The most terrifying thing in life is not to die alone, but to die with the person who makes you lonely.
Outsiders see you as having a stable life and a reliable lover, but in fact you are full of grievances and don’t know where to start.
You say she did something wrong, but she did not make any mistakes of principle. Compared with those women who cheat, she may occasionally give you a little warmth.
But such tenderness is like boiling a frog in warm water, making you unable to make up your mind to divorce and making you feel aggrieved. A dull knife sharpens you, but it does not show blood, but it is deadly. In a good marriage relationship, there is always something to talk about.
3. How do you love someone?
How do you love someone when you love someone?
It depends on both action and communication.
Otherwise, your world is full of lightning and thunder, but in his eyes, it is calm and calm.
Finally, even under the same roof, we will become strangers who share the same bed with different dreams.
Everything else in married life is short-lived, passion will slowly disappear, love will fade from strong to weak, and most of the time two people spend together is spent in conversation.
If the other person cannot feel the love, is it still love?
Companionship in marriage is not enough just sitting together.
But he is willing to listen to you talking about the daily necessities in life, and you are willing to listen to him complain about all kinds of troubles at work.
Two people can listen to your affairs, and are willing to share the burden, know the warmth and coldness, and understand the joys and sorrows. This is love.
