When a couple is together, it is inevitable that they will have quarrels and conflicts. This is normal. As long as you learn to respond appropriately, your relationship will become more stable after a quarrel is reconciled.
Therefore, to maintain the relationship between two people, couples will learn how to deal with quarrels correctly. Before getting to the main topic, let me talk about two mistakes that you should never make when quarreling with your girlfriend:
1. Avoid settling old scores
We all have this experience: when you are angry with the other person because of something, The train of thought is often "How could she do such a thing?" "Why is she like this?" "She has done this kind of thing more than once, as expected of her, ha".
So, we began to vent all the dissatisfaction we had accumulated for a long time. Such as, "Remember the last time you were like this..." "Why do you always...".
We will unconsciously jump from the current topic to a long time ago. Not only does our memory have a superior memory, but our ability to merge similar items is also very strong.
Indeed, it feels great to clear all the accounts in one go. But have you ever discovered that the ultimate goal of settling old scores is "people".
We have said so much, but in fact we are proving that the other party is a "bad person". Who can bear it when the incident is repeatedly blamed on the person?
2. Avoid personal attacks
The direct reason why almost everyone loses control of their emotions during a quarrel is that the other person starts to attack you as a person. This kind of quarrel is the most unreasonable and stupid thing to do.
We say that our girlfriend is not worth a penny. Who would be able to avoid being angry if we change it? Besides, isn’t this tantamount to belittling ourselves in disguise?
The reason why I summarize these two taboos first is to tell everyone that it is okay to quarrel, but you cannot deviate from the direction. Once you find that the direction of your quarrel has deviated from these two roads, you should stop talking in time.
Because as soon as these two situations began to appear, the content of your argument had already deviated from the original theme.
This kind of quarrel is meaningless. Instead, it turns from one conflict to two or three. The more the quarrel becomes, the more fierce it is. There is no end at all.
Some people may say at this point, since there are so many disadvantages to quarreling, then why not just hold it in and not quarrel?
This is really not possible, if some conflicts always persist Holding it back will only make you more depressed and make the other person think you are being cold-blooded, so it is better to take the initiative to resolve the conflict through communication.
Please recite silently before resolving conflicts: Don’t be angry, don’t be angry, you will be the one who suffers when you are angry.
Some people say that if it is trueWhat should I do if I can’t control my anger?
I suggest you say this: Dear, I’m a little angry right now. Let’s talk about it later, okay?
If that doesn’t work, let’s watch something else to vent our anger, hahahaha (crazy hint at my video).
In this way, after your mind is clear, listen to the other party's explanation, and discuss the matter without deviating from the topic.
For example, your girlfriend went out with her best friend and came back very late, but did not reply to your WeChat message during the period.
At this time, we must first ask why she is like this, and don't complain or be sarcastic right away.
You should listen to her explanation first, and then express her grievances about waiting for her at home.
If you have different opinions on this matter, there is no need to be hypocritical or humbly listen to your girlfriend's opinion.
Express your dissatisfaction in a neither humble nor arrogant manner. You can tell her: "I understand your point of view, and I also hope you can understand my feelings."
At this time, the two of you sit down. Let's have a good talk and resolve the conflict in time. If you quarrel at the end of the bed, make it up at the end of the bed, and try not to leave an overnight grudge.
Finally, I want to tell you that when we quarrel with our girlfriends, we usually love her and we fight because of her. There is a gap in the image in my mind and I feel angry.
When we face her and only feel unspeakable disappointment, that means that a relationship is truly over.
How can a young couple not quarrel? Quarrel is not the purpose. After venting their emotions and exchanging opinions, the final meaning of the quarrel is when the two people review each other and understand each other.
Actually, we have said many times that there are several fixed patterns for how men and women get along.
According to the extroverted or introverted personality of the other party, the corresponding model only needs to be copied and applied. In fact, the relationship between men and women is not that difficult. Therefore, friends who are still worried about this, take the initiative!
