Recently, during a gathering with my close girlfriends, we delved into the topic of relationships and discovered that many of us had our share of confusions. Some friends lamented about why, despite their significant efforts, they always seemed to meet the wrong people. Others wondered how a relationship that started so well could suddenly end in a breakup. Listening to their stories reminded me of some experiences of friends around me, and today I want to share some insights on what women should pay attention to in dating and marriage.
First and foremost, I believe the most crucial point is not to let love consume your entire being. I have a friend, Xiaomei, who, when in a relationship, practically revolved her world around her boyfriend. Every day, aside from work, she was all about her boyfriend, even skipping out on gatherings with friends. The result? Her boyfriend felt overwhelmed by the pressure and eventually broke up with her. Xiaomei was devastated, her work suffered, and her life was in disarray. So, while love is important, it should never become the entirety of your life. Maintain your circle of friends, develop your own interests, so that even if a breakup occurs, you still have your own life.
Speaking of giving, I particularly want to remind everyone that love should be reciprocal. I know a girl who lived with her boyfriend for four years, doing his laundry, cooking, and even washing his feet. The outcome? Her boyfriend ended up marrying someone else, stating, "I need a wife, not a maid." This reminds me of a poignant online comment: "If you treat yourself as a maid, don't be surprised if others treat you as one." Therefore, in a relationship, it's essential to maintain equality and not just give endlessly.
Regarding the topic of cohabitation, I think it's crucial to be especially cautious. Although society has become more open, women still need to protect themselves. I have a cousin who, after moving in with her boyfriend, became unexpectedly pregnant. As a result, the man's family cut down on the dowry, and the wedding was very modest. My cousin still regrets it to this day. So, even if you're cohabiting, always take safety precautions; it's about taking responsibility for yourself.
Lastly, I want to emphasize the importance of maintaining independence, whether in dating or marriage. Have your own career and your own social circle, so that even if relationship issues arise, you won't feel like your world is falling apart. As a sister I know once said, "Love is the icing on the cake, not the coal in the snow." This statement couldn't be more accurate.
In summary, both dating and marriage require effort, but the premise is to love yourself. I hope every woman can find someone who truly understands and cherishes her. Remember, you deserve to be treated well!