Recently, while chatting with friends about the topic of love, I suddenly realized that many women tend to overexert themselves in relationships. In fact, love is truly a subject that requires wisdom, especially for women. Understanding how to maintain balance and grasp the true essence of "feelings" is incredibly important.
Let's start by discussing "feelings." Have you ever encountered a situation where the other person treats you very well, and you know they like you a lot, but you just "don't feel it"? What exactly is this feeling? Essentially, a feeling is a kind of "desire" emotion. Just like when you're hungry, you want to eat, or when you're tired, you want to sleep, feelings in a relationship are also a kind of need. If you don't have the urge to see someone, hold their hand, or hug them, then you basically "don't feel it."
This reminds me of a comment from a netizen: "Feelings are the reactions of the heart." Indeed, feelings aren't generated just because someone treats you well; they are a need that comes from within. You might be moved by someone's kindness, but being moved is not the same as having feelings. It's like the classic line, "You're a good person," which essentially means, "You're great, but I don't have that heart-fluttering feeling for you."
So, how can you make the other person feel something? Attraction is key. Attraction isn"t optional; it's specific, even unique. It's like if you enjoy drinking coffee, no matter how much someone recommends milk tea, you won't be swayed. Attraction is also related to "unattainability"—the harder something is to get, the stronger the feeling it can evoke. It's like when you're scrolling through food videos late at night; even if you don't usually crave it, at that moment, you just can't resist.
Of course, feelings aren"t static. As we age and gain more life experience, our preferences and needs change. For example, I used to dislike eggplants, but now they're my favorite. The same goes for relationships; someone you didn't feel anything for initially might grow on you as you interact and get to know them better.
This brings us to the "Law of Reciprocity." We tend to like those who like us, but if the other person shows no interest in us, the attraction diminishes significantly. Therefore, maintaining an appropriate distance and balance in a relationship is crucial. As one netizen put it, "No feeling means there's distance, or rather, it's because of the distance that there's no feeling."
Finally, I want to say that the wisdom in love is about learning to understand your own and the other person's needs and mastering the art of balance. Don't overexert yourself, but don't be entirely passive either. As another netizen humorously remarked, "There's only one disease in the world, and that's poverty." While this is a bit exaggerated, it illustrates a point: in relationships, both material and emotional values are important, but what's more crucial is knowing how to make the other person feel that "desire" for you.
So, women in love, give yourselves and the other person some space, and learn to understand the true essence of "feelings." After all, love isn't something you can force; it's cultivated through attraction and mutual understanding. I hope every woman can find her own wisdom and happiness in love.