Recently, while chatting with friends, we touched upon some confusions and challenges girls face in romantic relationships, and suddenly, I found this topic quite intriguing. As someone who has been through it (though not that old, haha), I'd like to share some of my views and experiences, especially on how girls can uphold their bottom lines in relationships and understand the emotional codes behind those "no feelings."
First and foremost, bottom lines in relationships are crucial. Many girls, in the early stages of a relationship, can easily be swept off their feet by sweet words, thinking everything the other person says is right and everything they do is good. But in reality, some bottom lines should never be crossed. For instance, never lend money or take out loans for the other person. It might sound cliché, but in reality, many girls have ended up losing both their money and their relationships because of a moment of soft-heartedness. As one netizen aptly put it in the comments: "Men can get away with not taking responsibility for anything." Indeed, often the risks are transferred to the girls, who end up having to repay debts, sometimes even with high interest. So, no matter how sincere or earnest the other person sounds, it's important to stay clear-headed.
Then there"s the issue of premarital pregnancy. Although societal views have become more open, premarital pregnancy still puts girls in a passive position. The dual pressures on both body and mind, coupled with societal judgment, are no joke. As one commenter mentioned: "Premarital pregnancy indeed makes women more passive and causes greater harm, especially physically. Men, on the other hand, can often walk away unscathed." Though harsh, this is a reality. Therefore, girls must protect themselves and not gamble with their lives.
Another point is not to easily give up one"s financial independence. Many girls in relationships hear promises like "I'll take care of you," which sound romantic, but reality is often not so kind. A comment that struck me was: "Who wasn't the little princess at home, living a carefree life? Why should one be blamed by others, even to the point of not being able to afford their favorite durian?" Indeed, financial independence is not just a safeguard for life but also a manifestation of dignity. No matter how much the other person loves you, never give up your ability to earn your own money.
Lastly, never be the third party. This not only harms others but also yourself. As one netizen commented: "Being the third party is universally disliked because it can destroy a perfectly good family." Indeed, no matter how much you like someone, it's not worth losing your dignity and reputation over.
Next, let's talk about the topic of "no feelings." Many guys, when pursuing a girl, often hear the phrase "no feelings" and are left puzzled: what exactly are feelings? In essence, feelings are a "desire" emotion, a longing for a certain need. For example, when you're hungry, you want to eat; when you're sleepy, you want to sleep. The same goes for feelings in a relationship—wanting to meet, to hold hands, to hug, these are all manifestations of "wanting." If a girl says she has "no feelings," it essentially means she has no emotional need for you.
A commenter insightfully noted: "No feelings mean there's distance, or rather, it's because there's distance that there are no feelings." This makes a lot of sense. The generation of feelings often requires a certain level of attraction and interaction. Attraction can be based on looks, personality, common interests, etc., while interaction is built through daily contact and communication. If a girl has "no feelings" for you, it might be because there's not enough interaction between you, or you haven't shown enough attraction.
So, how can you make a girl have feelings for you? First, attraction is key. Looks, confidence, a sense of humor—these are all important components of attraction. Second, reciprocity is also crucial. Girls often prefer those who like them back, so you need to learn to express your interest, but not too eagerly. Lastly, an appropriate distance and a bit of challenge can also enhance attraction. A comment that was quite interesting said: "What you can't get is always more tempting." Maintaining a bit of mystery and challenge might make a girl more interested in you.
In conclusion, both bottom lines and feelings in relationships require careful management and protection. Girls need to learn to protect themselves, and guys need to learn to understand girls" minds. I hope my sharing can be of help to everyone, and I welcome everyone to share their views and experiences in the comments. After all, there's no standard answer to love; it's a continuous process of learning and growing.
